12 Signs You Ate Too Much On Thanksgiving
1. You sit at the kids’ table because the adults judge you.
2. You have a special pair of pants with an extra large elastic waist. They only come out once a year.
3. Multiple people claim they spot you in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade every year.
4. You’re responsible for a slight change in the earth’s orbit.
5. You blend your meal for faster consumption.
6. Hibernating isn’t just for bears. We’ll see you in April.
7. You don’t believe in leftovers.
8. One pound per person? Better make it five.
9. That’s no tan. That’s ham glaze.
10. You keep a local significant other around just to visit two different houses.
11. You have to loosen the buckle on your belt. And your watch. And your bike helmet.
12. And you’ve been known to go back for thirds. Twenty-thirds.